By DANE GOLDEN October 5, 2007
Categories: Culture and Humor.
Listen, blondie, you don’t fool me for a second with your towel-spread-over-the-readout sh*t. You and I both know your 20 minutes are up, and don’t make me ask you to get off that machine. I’ve been waiting here for 20 minutes, and you’ve been on that treadmill since I walked into the building. See all these people waiting in line for these machines? Do you think we’re here for our health?
Well, OK, we’re here in this gym for our health, but standing here isn’t making us healthy, it’s just making us angry. So pick up your God damn Self Magazine and Aquafina and get off the damn Precor, your time is up.
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Hey, who says their aren’t any hot chicks on JDate? I just hooked up with Sarah Silverman. Or, um, an advertisement for Sarah Silverman. But that’s sort of close.
I thought I’d play along. I sent her a message. My message said:
“Sarah: I thought you were dating Jimmy. Untrue? He told me he’d kill me if I ever tried to go out with you.”
I soon got a response that said: “I’m so flattered, want to know more? Watch me Weds 10:30/9:30c on Comedy Central.”
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When is it wrong to “suit up”? I have been following this piece on Mike Nolan’s crusade to sport a clean-cut look while coaching NFL games. Richard Torregrossa wrote a very interesting article in the San Francisco Chronicle, “Mike Nolan scores one for the suit.” I find it fascinating that Nolan has fought a multi-year struggle Nolan, petitioning the NFL and it’s clothing sponsor, Reebok, to be able to substitute a tie for a windbreaker.
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